One step at a time one day at a time

I slept pretty good last night until I got up around 3 this morning and I couldn’t stop thinking, all I could think about was buying a business and moving forward and where we would be, I started to breath and focus on my breathe and decided to visualize and just be in the moment and eventually fell back to sleep until 5 when my alarm went off. I did not want to get out of bed, but I knew what I needed to do in order to show up the way that was most beneficial for the rest of my day. I just got up, I said my prayers and meditated and felt a little more rejuvenated, as I was preparing for the rest of my day I read my scriptures during which time I was reminded again how important it is to be aware of my thoughts, what do I really want to accomplish, who do I want to follow, do I want to be like this person this leader who is really righteous and obedient who helps others who defends his family, nation and religion or this other person who, without thought, just goes about full of pain and resentment toward his enemy thus inflicting that pain on others and eventually causing the destruction of a whole nation. Those thoughts continue through my mind and I am grateful that there is a guide to happiness in this life, this guide is one of eternal significance, it is the guide which leads us all to that one being even Jesus Christ who is the only one who can bring true happiness and peace because he made it possible to repent, to forgive and be forgiven, to change from this carnal state to a state that is more spiritual which when we are changed in that way we are more worthy to be guided by a member of the godhead the Holy Spirit, being guided to live true to who we are and our potential to always become better, the guide that we have which I speak of are the words of prophets and the personal inspiration received when seeking direction from God. I am seeking more ways to be more intuitively guided in all areas so that I am more in tune to myself and even others, to be able to discern, to benefit everyone the way only I can, to be the answer to someone’s prayer. I also did some energy tapping and released a lot of shame and self destructive thoughts, trying to not be so harsh in he way I think about myself and how I’m not perfect and how I should do this or that better, how I should’ve said something to those kids yesterday (I’m at the park with my kids and some other kids come and play and there’s a girl probably 11-12 and a boy her age and a little boy about 6. The older kids go on the teeter totter and the girl starts being all flirty asking if the boys notices something (she’s wearing this tight little spaghetti strap shirt) and she’s very obviously growing in feminine areas that she is proud of and as she is going and down she keeps asking the boy if he notices and says that every boy notices and they like it, she then goes on to talk about how she’s not wearing a bra, I’m standing pushing my kids on the swing and just trying to follow any kind of inspiration that may help this young girl, but they soon get up and start walking back home) I am amazed that younger and younger kids are into things and saying things that are not age appropriate. I am a little disappointed in myself for not saying something, but I didn’t think it was my place so I didn’t, releasing fear around speaking my truth and being heard so I don’t say the wrong thing and just turn inside and shutdown. There’s always another time for me to step up and say something and I pray that next time I’m more in tune and don’t let fear paralyze me.  

If all I said was that it’s not an appropriate conversation to have especially at the Park with little kids around then that would have probably been good, but my chance is gone. I am now looking forward to other opportunities and will just keep trying more each day to do better.