The “stuff”

Stuff has been coming up for me like crazy, last night and this morning. Stuff about me moving forward even when it feels pointless and hard, stuff about feeling inadequate with everything I try and all the stuff in my head that I write down because I don’t know who I can talk to. I long for adult conversations and meaningful deep relationships, just trying to have a positive attitude by being more aware of my thoughts and changing what I feel I need or want to change and trying to get out of this rut. I’ve been feeling stuck, trapped almost, feeling as though I was drowning and someone or something was holding me under water, I had to do some energy tapping and visualizations to help me through all of that and as I did I realized that the strength is in my Savior who’s hand is there the whole time wanting to pull me up and that there is strength within me to push up and hold his hand to get above water to breath. Just one breath at a time, just allowing help and support from the only one I can truly rely on, that spiritual support is so important for me, I am learning that I have to support myself emotionally as well as knowing that no one else can meet my needs, I can’t just expect someone to show up for me and make me feel peace or joy, that is only within me to create those feelings and to hold on to them. Although I’m also learning that it’s ok to allow others to be here for me when they choose to be, however hard it is sometimes to keep moving forward I have to look at the big picture, the eternal aspect and remember my goal and what is really most important, what I want in the end matters more than what I want right now. Eternal perspective is essential during the struggle, don’t quite, don’t give up, someone is depending on you, someone needs what only you can offer, remember these thoughts and hold on to them in times of loneliness and despair, you are not alone, I know that deep down I really do know it, I just have to remember to turn to that, to turn to my Savior, to choose the light instead of the darkness, don’t give in no matter how much easier it seems in the moment . Reminds me of a song by Michael McLean, “hold on, the light will come” we all have our moments. Connect with someone you trust, if you need to talk then talk, if you need to be the one to listen then be there and listen. Discern in the moment what is right and trust that feeling and follow it. The “stuff” will always be there so do your best in the moment to get through it. #fromhairtosoul #lifebyemily #becauseofhim #thestuff