MY PERFECTION ADDICTION

Do you have something that is constantly feeding your brain lies but they feel like truth? For example something that kind of controls you instead of you controlling it? Mine has been and still sometimes is perfection. I consider myself a recovering perfectionist. I have gotten so much better and have learned tools to be more in control and to change what isn’t supporting me, but it’s still a natural part of me to want to perfect. I learned some years ago why I was so particular with certain things in my life and why I would get so frustrated or down on myself if things didn’t look or seem a certain way, if I didn’t look perfect, if my home didn’t look perfect, I was constantly trying to prevent certain things from happening in my life or showing up in a light that wasn’t all together perfect. I even thought I could manipulate or control people and situations to show up just the way I preferred. It all came down to my expectation of perfection. So during a time in my life I found something that caught my interest so I started reading some incredible books and learning about “my nature” and “dressing my truth” and “the child whisperer” the common key words that stick out to me were things like structure, bold, still, own authority, symmetrical, stunning, serious, keen eye, deep thinker, intellectual, and many more. As these caught interest and felt familiar to me I decided to delve deeper and gain greater understanding. I learned that I am like the earth, grounded and still. In my nature I am serious and I like structure. Change can be hard if I’m not the one creating it, which is why my whole perfectionism could get out of control at times. I wanted control of something. I would thrive on illusions of perfection like with my life or relationships and how I would try to hide how things were by making it look good on the outside when the reality was that it was all falling apart. I couldn’t ever be vulnerable because it wasn’t safe, change didn’t feel safe, showing the truth of my life wasn’t safe. I lived in fight or flight mode a lot and continued to create the illusion of a perfect life. As time went on and I learned and accepted things about who I am and how to honor myself and use these “gifts” (since I finally saw them as gifts) to support and bless me and my life I found a sense of peace and felt anchored and in control. I learned that the control I had been seeking for the whole time was the control of my own self. I learned that I am the only one who can control me, I am in charge of my thoughts, my feelings and my actions. I am my own authority and I know what’s best for myself. I feel grounded and connected to my higher self and to God (my higher power) and all my relationships and other details of my life run much smoother and are beautiful as I honor the gifts I have been blessed with. Perfection was the way I overcompensated for my insecurities. I learned it came natural to see how to create beauty and perfect things because of my keen eye, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing and I want it to be a support to me not a hinderance, which when I was addicted to this perfection it hindered me in so many ways. If this resonates with you and you feel like you’d like to work with me to overcome anything holding you back from being the person you want to be, to show up in your life the way that’s most supportive, then know I’m here, I can help coach you through areas in you’re life that will help you improve your relationships, your health and your finances. Whatever isn’t “working right” I have the skills and tools to help. Go ahead and leave me your email address or connect with me on face book at insights from emily, I’m here to support you through your journey. I’m currently offering my 8 week package to 3 people for more than half off the price of its usual rate, I am gaining greater skills to further help and support you during this time after which my regular rate will set in. So if you’re interested let me know. First come for serve.