Who strengthens you???

Do you ever sometimes question your abilities and then look at the choices you make and wonder how you could ever have thought was a good idea? 

This is something I have thought about especially as I am preparing for my fourth natural birth and third home birth. I do wonder a lot about my abilities and what it will be like and if fear will take over and I will set myself up for a terrible experience and more pain than necessary. Or if I will embrace all that I have been working so hard to prepare for. I have been surrendering a lot of my thoughts and fears and emotions trusting God will strengthen me and that I will always remember Gratitude even when I don’t want to. 

 I am grateful for the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical preparation I have been able to experience and have been working so hard on. I am reminding myself everyday about the infinite love and gratitude I want to feel even in the midst of pain and discomfort. It may be hard and I may forget when in the moment so this is me being accountable in a way that is encouraging and not shaming. I know I am capable of so much more than I sometimes acknowledge and not because I can do it myself rather it’s because of who I choose to trust and seek help and inspiration from, God is the one who has all power to strengthen me and bless me with the ability to do as he would have me do. I am in awe daily at his grace, mercy, patience and love. With God nothing is impossible.